The heart of millions of Little Mixers (Little Mix Fans) broke in December 2020 when Jesy Nelson announced she was leaving the band. Six months later, Jesy has given her first interview explaining why she left the band after online abuse left her at her “breaking point”.
The star, who makes one fourth of X Factor winning group Little Mix, explains that the constant comparison to her bandmates made her miserable. Labelled by trolls as the ‘fat one’ or ‘obese’, Jesy has publicly shown the impact trolling on her mental health in BBC documentary Odd One Out.
Jesy spent lockdown with her friends and family, describing it in the Cosmopolitan magazine as “the happiest she had ever felt”. She hadn’t fully understood the gravity of the situation until she returned to work, explaining “she immediately became a different person”.
The pressure came to a head whilst filming the music video for Sweet Melody. Jesy opened up to friend Felicity that she puts an enormous amount of pressure on herself to lose weight. Looking back at the footage, she finds it hard to relax and perform when she hates how she looks. After lockdown ended, and a new music video was announced, Jesy started drinking shakes in order to lose weight.
On set, the three other members were having the time of their lives. Jesy recalls being jealous of the girls. While they were enjoying doing what they love, she was miserable. “To have this dream and not be enjoying it because of what I look like is not normal”.
Turning point for Jesy
Jesy is missing in a scene from the Sweet Melody video featuring the other three members. At the time of recording, she had locked herself in the toilet following a panic attack. A close friend comforted her, but warned “this has got to stop. You will end up where you were before”.
Jesy describes the moment as her pinnacle point. It was the moment she knew she was going to leave the band. For years, she was worried that she was letting people down so stayed at the expense of her happiness. Finding the pressure of being in a girl band too much, she took extended leave for “private medical reasons”. This caused her to miss out on TV appearances such as Little Mix The Search finale and the MTV Europe Music Awards.
A few months later, Jesy made the announcement on her Instagram. The remaining trio showed their support saying Nelson had their full support but they knew fans would be “incredibly sad”.
“I can’t believe how miserable I was in Little Mix”
Jesy’s battle with self confidence and online bullies was documented in BBC Series Odd One Out. In the documentary, Jesy explains that she joined social media in 2011 when she won X Factor. Immediately, she was labelled the fat ugly one. Fellow member Jade Thirwall is seen explaining “they had to watch this amazing, funny girl become a broken doll”.
The documentary won a National Television Award and addresses the problems with image and online bullying. Jesy explains the comments made in the first five years of her winning X Factor put her in a “dark, depressing” period of her life.
In her Cosmopolitan interview, Jesy explains that when she looks back at her time in the band she can’t believe how miserable it made her. “It’s horrible when you don’t like something about you, to have thousands of people point it out”.
No comment has been made about the girls in the band, but rather the social pressure of being in a girl band was too much. “I don’t have to worry about having a music video or doing an interview wearing an outfit that I don’t want to wear because the girls want to. Then I bought the positive energy down, which was hard on the girls who are living their dreams”
Plans for the future out of Little Mix
Since leaving the band, Jesy has finally returned to the studio. Some fans have criticised this, thinking Jesy was taking time out to focus on her mental health. Jesy explains that “I love the music I made with Little Mix, but its not the music I listen to. It just feels so nice to be making music I love. I don’t know when I am going to bring it out.”
Finishing the interview by summarising her house in three words: Honest. Content. Free. It is clear Jesy has no intention of hiding on the spotlight, but will rather have it shine on her solely. As well as launching a solo music career, she also hinted towards a further documentary but gave no details away.
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